1/25/2007

Hey Kids! Comics!! 01-25-07

It was a busy week as several of my regular horror books were out:

Criminal #4

Criminal #4Beautifully done crime drama from Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips. As in any good crime caper, every character seems to be backstabbing and stealing from another. The master lowlife criminal in the middle of all this, Leo, has to figure out a way to keep himself and his ex-junkie girlfriend alive. Yet another common characteristic of good crime capers is half the characters are former or current junkies. Yay, skag!! Don't try and jump into this story in the middle, as you'll be lost, but it's definitely worth your time so wait for the trade paperback.

Criminal Macabre #2

Criminal Macabre #2If, like me, you love well written horror comics with a healthy dose of humor, this is the ideal book. In this issue, the ongoing adventures of Private Eye/Drug Addict Cal McDonald, ancient vampire Nosferatu (or something that looks like him) shows up in Southern California looking for Cal, who's laid up in a hospital bed after getting beat to within an inch of his life in the previous issue. Ol' Cal's also going through major withdrawals from all the pills and booze he's been ingesting constantly for years. Niles story moves along at a quick, clean pace with no unnecessary subplots or filler to bog things down. He definitely understands the "less is more" concept of storytelling, a subject most comic writers could stand to take a class on. If you're going to be influenced by other artists, you might as well pick good one's and Hotz definitely does. Clearly inspired by Bernie Wrightson and Kelly Jones, Hotz seems to get better every issue. Each panel is dripping with well-rendered, horrific detail. He's clearly enjoying himself. Criminal Macabre is comic of the week! Pick it up!

Damned #4 (of 5)

Damned #4 (of 5)If Criminal Macabre weren't so damn good this month, this would win book of the week. As it is, it's still very good. Imagine if most of the characters from The Godfather were demons and you'd have a pretty good idea of what Damned is all about. The main character, Eddie, is a cursed human mobster who acts as a sort of power broker between several factions and gangs of demons. In this issue, war between the families breaks out and all hell (duh!) literally breaks loose. Artist Brian Hurtt creates an amazingly graphic atmosphere. He vaguely reminds me of a less polished Charles Burns, with his strong blacks and stylized feathering. If you haven't read any of Damned before this, I'd highly recommend buying the back issues as the complicated plot won't make any sense jumping in at book 4. Either that or wait for the inevitable trade. You won't be disappointed.

Fallen Angel #12

Fallen Angel #12The Angel makes a deal with the city's biggest drug dealer, which brings her into conflict with her well-meaning, but naive, son, who's also the city's invulnerable magistrate. I love the drug they're all fighting over: it turns people into vampires. Oooga Booga!! This book can get weird and cynical, but Peter David cynical-weirdness is still better than say, Grant Morrison cynical-weirdness, because it actually makes sense and goes somewhere. David has the skill to pull it off. That probably annoys some people, as there seem to be a lot of them out there who absolutely looove pretentious non-sensical storylines, but I appreciate a story. Call me weird.

Hellblazer #228

Hellblazer #228This issue marks the conclusion of the empathy engine storyline, which is a good thing since even for a Constantine story, it was overlong and merely semi-interesting. Luckily, there's a healthy dose of black humor to keep things lighthearted and Constantine is his usual asshole self — arrogant as hell (literally) and self-pitiable. Hellblazer is one of those books you either love or loathe. I've been reading it since issue 1, and I must admit the quality varies from story arc to story arc, but for me, it's like comfort food. Buy it or don't buy it. I don't care. Next issue starts a new arc, so that might be a good time to jump on the Hellblazer bandwagon, kiddies!

Mystery In Space #5 (of 8)

Mystery In Space #5 (of 8)Shane Davis is one of the finest superhero artists around and his superb work alone is a good enough reason to get this book. The fact that it's written by Jim Starlin, master of the trippy-dippy comic book space opera, is just a happy bonus. It's nice to see what can be done with even an inconsequential character like Captain Comet, star of Mystery In Space, if put in the right hands. In this issue, the good Captain infiltrates the evil galactic Church that's planning some sort of nastiness and discovers where all the super assassins that have been kicking his ass are coming from. He's not happy with his discovery. The backup story, drawn by Starlin and starring his own goofy creation, The Weird, is tied into the main Captain Comet story. It appears as if Starlin's going to merge the two storylines rather soon, which is a good thing as, much as I'm enjoying this book, he could have easily condensed 8 issues into 4 or 5 and had a much tighter story.

Supergirl And The Legion Of Superheroes #26

Supergirl And The Legion Of Superheroes #26The Legion battles a more badass version of themselves and the biggest damned robot I've ever seen. It seems the Dominators are looking to take over Earth. For a race of people who call themselves "The Dominators", they never seem to actually succeed in dominating anything of consequence. Perhaps they should concentrate on a planet that doesn't have a fucking Kryptonian and her super powered buddies protecting it! Oh well. I guess, they're called "The Dominators" and not "The Super-Duper Extra-Smart Dominators" for a reason. I like this book, but I wish there was a little more main character interplay and less introduction of new ones. There's already way too many stars in this book and just when it seems writer Mark Waid is getting into developing characters and relationships and making things interesting, he goes away from them and introduces new, less interesting characters.

Fables Volume 5: The Mean Seasons

Fables Volume 5: The Mean SeasonsThis is kind of an extended epilogue to Volume 4, March Of The Wooden Soldiers, and covers the year following that watershed event in this amazing series. This volume is comprised of three separate stories. None approach the excellence of the previous volume, but no one could blame writer Bill Willingham for taking it down a notch after the tumultuous events of March. Besides, he wraps up quite a few loose ends here and creates some new ones presumably to be finished later. The first is a straight up cloak and dagger type story starring Cinderella. She's way more devious and smart than she appears. The second is a WWII flashback to when Bigby was a super secret agent for the Allies. You know he's cool because he enjoys killing Nazi's. Like all good horror stories that take place in a Bavarian castle, the Frankenstein monster makes an appearance, only to quickly be put in his place by Bigby. Yeah. Werd up, mofo. The only thing I don't get — and this is a problem I have with most superhero comics that take place in WWII, so Fables is hardly unique — is why don't the Allies just send Bigby into Berlin to kill Hitler and the rest of the German hierarchy? I mean, this guy operates with impunity behind German lines, is immortal, can wipe out whole companies, and kicks the living shit out of the Frankenstein Monster! Why can't he just break into the Bunker and pop Hitler's diseased head like an annoying pimple? Who'd be able to stop him? War over! Now let's send him over to Japan to play dodgeball with Tojo's organs!! Game over. Or at least it would be if I were running things... Comics have never adequately answered that question. Oh well. The last story concerns the birth of Bigby and Snow White's brood. And they're a bunch of cute little buggers. But they're only half human looking so Snow has to move up to the farm, where Bigby isn't allowed because he was such a dick back in the homelands. Of course he bitches and moans like a spoiled brat, then takes off. Way to support your family, asshole. Also in this story, Prince Charming takes over as mayor, and, true to form, is only good at the pursuit: i.e.: running for office. Now that he's in charge, it turns out he's a terrible administrator. It speaks to Willingham's skill as a writer that he extends the Prince's character flaws into all his pursuits. If you're not reading Fables yet, you're just stupid and dull. Pick it up or pick your nose! For more reviews, check out Jared's Blog. Try not to laugh.

1/22/2007

Superbowl Forty Fookin' One

Superbowl LogoThe Chicago Bears and the Indianapolis Colts will meet on February 4th in Superbowl XLI ( I love Roman numerals - they make everything seem so important). I'm not sure what the early line is but I suspect the Colts will be favored by 4 points or more. This makes sense as they seem to be the better team. While neither team is without it's flaws, the Colts seem to have less of them. At Quarterback, Peyton Manning is the best in the game and light years ahead of the Bears Rex Grossman, who couldn't even start for half the teams in the NFL. Grossman doesn't seem to have much in the way of technique or accuracy. Any success he has completing passes has more to do with his underrated receivers being able to adjust to his poorly thrown, inaccurate passes before opposing defensive backs have time to react. Should the Colts manage to get some pressure on Grossman, he's proven to be mistake-prone at the worst times. Any quarterback will suck if you harass him all day, Grossman just sucks more than most. Additionally, the Colts really impressed me by showing way more grit and character than they ever displayed before by coming back from a 21 to 3 deficit against the Patriots, a team that's won 3 of the past 5 Superbowls. Here's a comparison of each teams units:

Quarterback

What a dweebThe Colts have the great Peyton Manning (the Giants, on the other hand, have the lesser Manning: Eli). The Bears have some guy named Rex. Dogs are named Rex. Not quarterbacks. I never bought the whole arguement that Peyton can't win the big game. Football is the ultimate team sport. The Bears defensive backs are better than the Colts, and will not give Manning an easy time, but he should still get some touchdowns at some point. Edge: Colts Duh. I'd choose Eli Manning over Grossman. Or even Archie...

Running Backs

Hey, now! The Bears might have an edge here. Thomas Jones is a decent all-around back and Cedric Benson, while still trying to live up to the hype of being the 3rd overall pick in the draft last year, has a rare combination of speed and power. Jones is like a poor man's Tiki Barber - he can do it all and he does it well. Until recently, the Colts couldn't stop the run, so on paper, this pair should be able to run all over the place throughout the game. The Colts rely on the tandem of Rookie Joseph Addai and Dominic Rhodes. Addai is coming into his own and Rhodes is assuming his rightful place as a backup. Neither is as good or versatile as the now-departed-for-the-Cardinals Edgerrin James, winner of the Stupidest Free Agent Award for 2006. Even if James were there, the Colts would have trouble running on the Bears top-rated defense. Edge: Bears The Colts will concentrate on stopping the run, forcing Grossman to pass. Problem is, they're not very good at run defense. If Jones and Benson start to dominate, the Bears will win this game. The Bears have very good linebackers and run stuffers on the defensive line. Led by Brian Urlacher, they'll keep Addai in check and under 100 rushing yards.

Wide Receivers

Mushin Muhammed and Bernard Berrian are an underrated tandem for the Bears. If the Colts don't get a pass rush, they'll make some big plays. Still, it's almost unfair to compare them to the Colts collection of All-Pros. Marvin Harrison is going to the Hall of Fame. I'm sure he'd love to get a Superbowl victory to cap his career. Reggie Wayne is almost as good as Harrison. and would be the #1 receiver on most other teams. If Manning gets the time, these guys will eat the Bears alive. That's a big If, as the Bears have a very good pass rush, but if anyone can score on that defense, it'll be these wide-outs. Colts Tight End Dallas Clark is also a very good pass catcher and provides a good dump off when Manning's in trouble. Edge: Colts I doubt the Bears are intimidated by the Colts wide receivers. They're going to keep them in check, but Harrison and Wayne can break out at any time. The Bears wide outs might make some plays simply because the Colts DB's are merely ordinary and they're more used to adjusting to Grossman's wounded-duck passes than the Colts DB's are.

Offensive Line

The Colts have had the NFL's best offense for several years now, so the line must be doing something right. They'll have their hands full with the Bears Defense, but they've handled good defenses before. The Bears OL is pretty good. I say this simply because if they sucked, they would not be in the Superbowl. They seem especially good at run blocking. If the Colt's speed rushers can get to Grossman, he's proven to make dumb decisions throughout this year, with several multiple interception games. Edge: Colts Their pass blocking is second to none, but if anyone can get to Manning, it would be the Bears.

Defense

Mongo Like CandyThe Bears live and die on defense. While no one except the dumbest of Bears fans (and listening to NFL radio on Sirius, there seems to be a lot of them) would deign to compare this defense to the 1985 unit that destroyed the rest of the NFL (except Dan Marino), they are still one of the best defenses in the NFL this year. They can get to the quarterback, and their linebackers are fast and aggressive. Brian Urlacher is one of the best linebackers in football. Their defensive backfield is good enough to at least keep up with Harrison and Wayne, but if they have to cover man to man regularly, those two will eat them alive. Still, if any team can stop Manning and company, it's the Bears. The Colts, on the other hand, have had trouble on defense, especially run defense, all year. They rely on their offense to generate big leads. That allows the defense to play to their strengths, forcing the other team into playing catch up and then rushing the shit out of the passer. For reasons I can't fathom, they suddenly started playing good run defense in the playoffs after getting eaten alive for stretches during the regular season. They'll need to play tough against the Bears, as I don't see their offense jumping out to a big lead quickly. Edge: Bears Their defense won't intimidate the Colts, but it will hold them in check most of the time. I wonder which Colts defense will show up? The one that's been playing well for the past few weeks, or the sieve-like pansies who were getting run over regularly by every mediocre running back they played.

Final Score

Colts: 27, Bears: 17 The Indy offense will do enough to give them a lead and the defense will get at least one interception and touchdown because, playing from behind, Grossman will be forced to pass and we all know that's just asking for trouble. I doubt this game will be a blow out, but by the third quarter, Indy will be in control because the Bears won't be able to run 60% of the time, which is their only real hope of keeping the Colts offense off the field. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. If you have a different opinion, let me know...

1/18/2007

Hey Kids! Comics!! 01-18-07

It was a slow week at ye olde comik shoppe. None of my favorites were out but I did find some cool new books:

Detective Chimp #1

Detective Chimp #1Because you demanded it, Bill Willinghmam and Sean McManus bring us the most famous chimp detective in the history of chimp detectives. Detective Chimp has always been, obviously, a less than serious character. Accordingly, the creative team plays things mostly for laughs and Willingham's skillful enough as a writer to recognize the inherent goofiness and still tell a good story. Apparently, this is tied into 52, DC's endless crossover that's touching every single book in their line. Now, I haven't read it, since I hate multi-book crossovers, so I have no idea how Detective Chimp fits into the big scheme of things except that he's now somehow affiliated with Dr. Fate, who was always one of my favorite characters in the DC universe (A bunch of years ago, Kieth Giffen and Larry Mahlstat did a great backup run with Dr. Fate in The Flash, which was way better than the title character's story). It seems the whole Dr. Fate concept has been turned on it's head in 52 because that's basically what happens in annoying, pointless, multi-book crossovers. Anyway, to make a long story short, Detective Chimp becomes Dr. Fate, can't handle it, and sends the helmet away. The end. I actually recommend this book, as Willingham has made the title character eminently likable and the story is actually engaging, well drawn and entertaining. Detective Chimp doesn't just think he's the smartest chimp in the room, he knows it. And he'll let anyone around him know it. Then he'll prove it. Somehow, he does this without coming off as an arrogant asshole. That's good writing, kids! This book rates a solid 7.5 out of 10. It would rate at least a point higher if Detective Chimp threw his feces at a bad guy. Maybe next issue. Which I'll definitely be picking up.

Red Menace #3

Red Menace #3The evils of McCarthyism is the central theme of this throwback of a book. I'm enjoying it, mostly due to Jerry Ordway's classy art. The story is ok. At least it's keeping my interest. I'm sure this will be available in a collected trade soon enough so you can wait until then to get it.

War Of The Undead #1 (of 3)

War Of The Undead #1 (of 3)I wasn't going to buy this book, even though I usually give first issues a try, because there seems to be an endless amount of Zombie books out there and most of them aren't very good. But then after taking a closer look at the cover, I realized this book has undead Nazi zombies in it. So I figured it was at least worth a look. Right? I'm glad I did. Rarely does a comic revel in it's own idiocy the way this one does. Writer Bryan Johnson and artist Walter Flanagan have created the best "undead-Nazi-devil worshiping-scientists-steal-Hitlers-nutsack (yes... his NUTSACK) and try to sustain the third Reich by inventing an unstoppable zombie army" comic I've read this month! As if that wasn't enough, there's Dracula (and his brides), Frankenstein's monster, the Wolfman and the Mummy thrown in for good measure. As you might have guessed, no one involved with this book appears to be taking anything all that seriously, but they do seem to be having fun. As an added bonus, they've also included loads of graphic zombie violence, so all you gorehounds should be pleased. The only criticism I really have is that there are no good guys yet to balance out the scumbag Nazi's. I'm sure next issue will reveal all. I'll be there!

Zombies Vs. Robots #2

Zombies Vs. Robots #2I picked up the first issue of this book and found it a little thin in the story department. Fortunately, it has a cool premise which the title sums up nicely, so I was hoping it would pick up a little with issue 2. Sadly, the story is still light at best, and illogical at worst, but at least things end with a nuclear blast. Who doesn't love a nuclear conclusion? Next issue sounds even more promising: Amazons Vs. Zombies Vs. Robots, so I'll think about it. At this point the main thing that keeps me coming back is the beautifully, illustrative art by Ashley Wood. He is one talented dude and a perfect example of how great art can make an OK story seem better than it is.

Fables Volume #4 (of 8, so far): March Of The Wooden Soldiers

Fables Volume #4 (of 8, so far): March Of The Wooden SoldiersRebounding from what I felt was a slight let down in volume 3 of his excellent Fables series, Bill Willingham delivers the best Fables story arch yet. The main plot of March of the Wooden Soldiers revolves around an attempt by the Adversary — the Sauron-like overlord who conquered the Fable's homelands — to invade our world and destroy Fabletown with thousands of murderous, grown-up Pinocchio's. It seems he's forcing Geppetto to create them, or so we're led to assume. I suspect things are not as they seem. The one major subplot involves grown up Red Riding Hood, returned from the dead and seeking asylum in Fabletown. It seems she has quite a history with Little Boy Blue and Bigby (Almost everyone seems to have a history with Bigby). I always thought Blue was gay. After reading this book, it's obvious I was dead wrong. Willingham weaves all these subplots together into one amazingly coherent story arc and sets up volume 5, The Mean Season, nicely. Mark Buckingham, whose style was always beautifully suited to this type of book, does an excellent job with the art. Everyone involved seems to give a damn. I appreciate that. Pick it up! For more comic reviews, check out Jared's Blog. He thinks he knows what he's talking about. See you next week. Be there or be square!